Caffeine Induced

The Month After Christmas'
Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
All the holiday parties had gone to my waist
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber)
I'd remember the marvellous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces with turkey all paired
The wine and the rum balls, the pate and cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please!"
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt--
I said to myself, as only I can
"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"
So, away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the chocolate, every cracker and chip
Every last bit of food that
I like must be banished
'til all the additional ounces have vanished
I won't have a cookie, not even a lick
I'll now only chew on a long celery stick
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore---
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot -
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

I found this today and couldn't have said it better.