Wednesday, January 10, 2007

The Month After Christmas'
Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
All the holiday parties had gone to my waist
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber)
I'd remember the marvellous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces with turkey all paired
The wine and the rum balls, the pate and cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please!"
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt--
I said to myself, as only I can
"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"
So, away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the chocolate, every cracker and chip
Every last bit of food that
I like must be banished
'til all the additional ounces have vanished
I won't have a cookie, not even a lick
I'll now only chew on a long celery stick
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore---
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot -
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

I found this today and couldn't have said it better.


Dawn said...

Now THAT is poetry!
so funny, so true.... so sad.

Off to find a celery stick!

Fern said...

Man and I thought you'd written it. Great poem and yes a sad but true story...

Kelli said...

Thanks for the thought Fern, but my poetry consists of Roses are red, violets are blue, don't go in the backyard, it's full of pooh.

Mrs Adept said...

LOL - me either ( couldn't have said it any better ). Great poem.