Wednesday, June 04, 2008

The pitfalls of owning a Retriever.

I love my puppy.

I love my puppy.

I love my puppy.

Wait! Why is he being so quiet on the deck? What's that in his mouth?

The following was said through clenched teeth...

I (as I sneak up for a closer look)...

Love (as I pry his vice like jaws open)...

My (as I pull a Pokemon toy from his clenched jaws)...

Puppy (as I picture one 12 yr. old that will be not chanting along with me)
Then it was said again with different words in place of LOVE and with a few pirate ARGS added for theatrical effect.

What do I love about owning a Retriever? Not much right now.

I love the fact there's no tail to knock things over, and that Linus has the softest baby fur ever, and can have the sweetest dumb dog face.

But I detest the hair, the block headedness, the always having to chew factor, the way he is so jealous of Sally, and his soft belly that results in heinous gas (loud farts and burps), his selective hearing, and his never ending need to eat things. And add the built in alarm clock he has recently installed, goes off 4 minutes before my real alarm does.

As you can see, the cons out weigh the pros. But along with chanting "I love my puppy" we also find ourselves saying "When he grows up, he's going to be a good dog". Why would he? Because he has lots of good dog traits buried under that baby fur and brick hard head and super sized incisors. We do a lot of self talking when it comes to Linus.

I wonder what Dr. Phil would say.

1 comment:

RAE said...

All I can say can exchange "Linus" for "Sandy" and you have life in my house LOL! That beautiful face melts my heart everytime tho, then she gives me a doggy lick and I absolutely adore her all over again :)