Spare time - not likely

Kerry and his coworkers are a bunch of goofs. Kerry called from work and asked if I had the computer skills to make a fake gift certificate for Cheetah's, a local strip club. The guys want to give it to their boss for Christmas. So I went to work. First, I researched the place. Then I washed my eyes with eye bleach. Then I copied their logo, maybe that's an infringement, ooops, then I used it to make mailing labels for the envelope the gc will be in. I figured a gift certificate from a place called Cheetah's might be a bit tacky so I found some animal print digital paper and made my envelope liner and gc. I also made a little lipstick kiss sticker to close the envelope with. Kerry loves it.

I had to drive Kerry's truck today while he did some fixin' to my signal lights. His driver side door won't open from the inside for me, he says pull and push and maybe jiggle and say the alphabet backwards to open it. It doesn't work for my kitten arms. Today was no exception, so I climbed out the other door, no biggie. When he took the truck back to work, he couldn't get out either, he said it was frozen, but I had no trouble opening it from the outside. Anyway, long story and lots of muscles later, he pulled the handle off the door. Bwhaaahaaahaaha!

So when I was talking to his coworker, I asked if Kerry had told him what happened. He hadn't so I did. He said Kerry was out in the yard and couldn't talk. I said "He's probably outside crying about his handle or he's outside jerking off your handle." To which he burst out laughing and I said "OMG I can't believe I just said that" and then I said "just make sure he washes his hands before he uses the phone". Kerry figures I might get razzed about it at the Christmas party.

And ...

Kerry's on holidays! Only for a few days. He took a few days a week or so ago. But still. I don't have to drive. I don't have to ...

Oh crap, I have to make lunch, I have to pretend I don't watch soaps, I have to pretend I clean house, I have to occupy him, I'll have to share my bonbons.