Thursday, April 03, 2008

Thursday's RANT

I'll try to keep it short.
Emily mentioned in passing that there are a group of 5 French Immersion boys that are bullying everyone at school. The other day, it was her turn, one says "Should I elbow her in the face?" Another says "Oh, that's the kids that cries all the time." (bullies aren't stupid, she does cry very easily, we were told it had something to do with her giftedness, hightened emotions). What gets me is my kid's response to this when she told me about it. I said that was terrible and something should be done, she said "Yes, something should be done, but I'm used to it, it's okay, they do it all the time, what bothers me is when the bug the little kids." I wanted to cry. I want to elbow those boys and their parents in the face. I truly believe you can't not know that your child is a bully. I think most of the time it's learned from home.
So without telling her I called the principal and told her what happended. She says she knows the gang (these are gr. 6 boys), and that they have issues with them and they don't seem to understand what is appropriate to say. She said it disappoints her that they maybe moving toward physical violence. Well, it disappoints me that she and the teachers know about this gang and haven't done something sooner. E. says that almost every day one of the boys is in the office getting talked to.
The principal says it's their policy to make the boys appoligize either in person or in writing, it depends on what the victim wants. I ask and Emily says "No thank you, it's my understanding that when the bully finds out who told, it gets worse." What the f#$% are they teaching these kids in their bully awareness program? I know what she means, but how sad is it that at 12 years old these boys have the run of the school?
I called the principal back, she didn't seem too bothered by this. She will have Emily go through the photo book to 'finger' the exact boys.
I'm pretty pissed off about the whole thing and am trying to decide if I should talk to the principal about how disappointed I am in their bully policy of no tolerance.
What would you do?


RAE said...

How frustrating! You should be proud of her tho. She sounds pretty well grounded for her age! I don't have any advice just an observation...its frustrating and sad that so many parents just ignore behaviours and signs in their kids or worse, they are the reason for their kids behaviours. There just doesn't seem to be much accountability anymore for anyone's actions. Too many parents get defensive and blame everyone else except their children and the schools just can't do anything. Good luck and hug your sweet daughter for me!

Marina said...

Wow, it seems like nothing has changed in the last 20-30 years since I was at school. I thought with all this talk of bullying awareness and no tolerance that things had improved but apparently it is just lip service.

In fact, now I think of it, I think things might be worse because at least when I was at school they suspended the kids for a week if they were caught (that way their parents would know).

I don't have any advice on how to handle it (although it would sure be nice if the parents were at least informed by the school). But you can let Emily know that these are the kids that usually flunk school, get crap jobs and basically become losers for the rest of the lives generally with no friends (except the other losers). Little compensation now I realize but once you grow up it does give you a certain satisfaction...

Cheryl said...

I would raise hell.

Seriously. I would be in the principal's office demanding something be done. And I wouldn't leave until it was done.

Little dirtbags.

Kimberly said...

Uggggg...that is super frustrating! Saying a prayer. xoxo
Love ya,